I wish I never

i am smoking a cigarette

it looks good when i light it

it burns slowly, dangerously

smoke meets my nose warmly

and comes into me

inhaling the smoke

has never tasted better

and i take another drag

and the smoke starts to sicken me

coughing and spitting

i choke

it is bent and broken

crumbling

the vibrant glow has dulled

and faded

to an empty orange

the cigarette sits limp

in my dry hand

its smoke still envelops me

i can’t put it down now

i wish i never lit you

(Whoever you are, I love you)

No title.

I leave some "...." in here.

So here you go, 

....

...

..

.

Reminder

“All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed; Second, it is violently opposed; Third, it is accepted as self-evident.” 
― Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm still on second stage.

Warm up

Pain. Pain and blood is the proof that we are still alive.

The red post

One of those days something great will happen and I will be there!

Somedays I only read Chuck Palahniuk's quotes and I feel bad about myself in a really good way though. I really love this man. 

For this:

“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” 

And this:

"Masochism is a valuable job skill."

And this:

“If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.” 

I like him from head to toe, if you know what i mean.

Dear Bed,

Oh sweet, comfortable bed. We go back a long way you and I. But I got to ask you this, Why do you treat me so bad nowadays?  

I know I haven’t been there for a long time now but I thought you would understand. I know I have stained you with coffee and tea and blood and mascara and I know that for a long time I have chosen another one but you, but please help me sleep at nights.  And when I wake up in the middle of the night take me back again, I am just afraid. Please let me rest and not think for a while. It feels like you are the only one that’s left, so comfort me and hug me and let me lay down silently until January.

I know it’s unfair but please be my friend again.

Love,

D.