Grey.

You slept with a smile on your face and woke up with nothing left.

What I am doing here?

Oh damn.

You whisper my name but really it doesn’t feel the same.

Oh damn.

I would love to leave this place but I will miss you like hell.

Oh damn.

And so I stay and wait.

You ask me what I need.

I answer something you can not give me anymore.

You ask why I’m still here.

Here, where?

In this bed.

I always come back here to find what I have left.

Give it back to me please. You know what I'm talking about.

Yes?

Sober.

It is quite late don’t you think?

You came like a stream, sitting next to me chewing bubble gum. I can still remember the smell of its flavor.

I don’t remember what happened to me, but for a moment I forgot everything.

Baby don’t go away, I’m still here.

You were looking at my eyes and I was screaming enough but you didn’t stop.

Thank God you didn’t.

Another drink and I might forget my pain.

After 23 years I should have know this game.

But I’m losing again.

23 years of practice. Well not really but I still thought I was good at it.

But I’m here again.

Losing again..

On repeat.

Shhhhh!
Silence..
1
2
3
4
5
I said Shhhhh!
Why it doesn't stop?
I did everything you told me.
I said Silence..

Oh God will it even stop..

Let's do it again..
1
2
3
4
5

I think I'm fine for now.. I think.

Your last night.

I throw all your things in the garbage and I pick them up again one by one.

I even thought of getting a cat but I have a fish and that will make us me and you again.

I stopped crying and I started drinking.

I stopped drinking and I started sleeping.

I stopped sleeping and then I woke up for a lifetime.

I hated my miserable days but most of all I hated missing you.

You stopped calling and then you stopped caring.

You stopped caring and then you forgot.

And as you forgot I became me again.

And you were far.

And I was me.

And it was summer.

And you were far.

Not much free time

I think I'm ruined. But then again this makes me something new and you always loved new things. So enjoy me.

And don’t stop me when I say that I miss you. Cause I did. And you know I did.

Be the new thing for me too. Someone to cry for and someone to hold.

This is personal.

-          Hello Blondie!

-          Hello Sir.

-          What’s your name?

-          My name is Des.

-          And what brings you here Blondie?

-          Well, this is not an easy question. A friend of mine says I’m not quiet myself lately.

-          This is so general. Not yourself, how?

-          The thing is I messed everything up. And most of the time I don’t enjoy what I’m doing, which I used to.

-          Sorry, how old are you?

-          Why you say it like that?

-          No! No reason.

-          I’m sorry about it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. If I was myself I would tell you something funny about the age part. But I can’t anymore.

-          So tell me what you’re thinking Blondie.

[….]

-          Can I ask you something sir? You know my name why you are still calling me Blondie?

-          Do you mind?

-          No, it is just that I’m being kind of dramatic those days and I don’t want to hate you or something.

-          Ha-ha-ha. See? You are finding yourself slowly. This is good.

-          I will let you know how it goes. Bye.

No title for today.

A friend of mine says that death is the worst thing that could happen to you.
I'm starting to think that my second self is the worst thing that could happen to me.
I will be more than gratful if i could just get rid of me. NOW.

Death is the best thing that could happen to the parts that i hide.

Release me now.