Please just let me take your picture...

please, please, please..


I wish I never

i am smoking a cigarette
it looks good when i light it
it burns slowly, dangerously
smoke meets my nose warmly
and comes into me
inhaling the smoke
has never tasted better
and i take another drag
and the smoke starts to sicken me
coughing and spitting
i choke
it is bent and broken
the vibrant glow has dulled
and faded
to an empty orange
the cigarette sits limp
in my dry hand
its smoke still envelops me
i can’t put it down now
i wish i never lit you

(Whoever you are, I love you)



“All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed; Second, it is violently opposed; Third, it is accepted as self-evident.” 
― Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm still on second stage.


Somedays I only read Chuck Palahniuk's quotes and I feel bad about myself in a really good way though. I really love this man. 

For this:
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” 

And this:
"Masochism is a valuable job skill."

And this:
“If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.” 

I like him from head to toe, if you know what i mean.


Dear Bed,

Oh sweet, comfortable bed. We go back a long way you and I. But I got to ask you this, Why do you treat me so bad nowadays?  

I know I haven’t been there for a long time now but I thought you would understand. I know I have stained you with coffee and tea and blood and mascara and I know that for a long time I have chosen another one but you, but please help me sleep at nights.  And when I wake up in the middle of the night take me back again, I am just afraid. Please let me rest and not think for a while. It feels like you are the only one that’s left, so comfort me and hug me and let me lay down silently until January.
I know it’s unfair but please be my friend again.