Please just let me take your picture...

please, please, please..

7.01.2011

All I need is a bath.


Main problem?

I don’t know you how to separate.
Forget people.
Forget situations.
LET GO.

We are all alone, don’t forget it.

You don’t understand me.
I enjoy loneliness.
I just miss people.
I can’t separate.

Well, you don’t have to worry about it.
There will always be someone to do it for you.

Shit.




5.30.2011

Grey.


You slept with a smile on your face and woke up with nothing left.
What I am doing here?
Oh damn.
You whisper my name but really it doesn’t feel the same.
Oh damn.
I would love to leave this place but I will miss you like hell.
Oh damn.
And so I stay and wait.

You ask me what I need.
I answer something you can not give me anymore.
You ask why I’m still here.
Here, where?
In this bed.
I always come back here to find what I have left.




Give it back to me please. You know what I'm talking about.


Yes?

5.29.2011

Sober.


It is quite late don’t you think?
You came like a stream, sitting next to me chewing bubble gum. I can still remember the smell of its flavor.

I don’t remember what happened to me, but for a moment I forgot everything.

Baby don’t go away, I’m still here.

You were looking at my eyes and I was screaming enough but you didn’t stop.
Thank God you didn’t.

Another drink and I might forget my pain.

After 23 years I should have know this game.
But I’m losing again.
23 years of practice. Well not really but I still thought I was good at it.
But I’m here again.
Losing again..





5.27.2011

On repeat.

Shhhhh!
Silence..
1
2
3
4
5
I said Shhhhh!
Why it doesn't stop?
I did everything you told me.
I said Silence..

Oh God will it even stop..

Let's do it again..
1
2
3
4
5

I think I'm fine for now.. I think.




5.26.2011

Your last night.


I throw all your things in the garbage and I pick them up again one by one.

I even thought of getting a cat but I have a fish and that will make us me and you again.

I stopped crying and I started drinking.
I stopped drinking and I started sleeping.
I stopped sleeping and then I woke up for a lifetime.
I hated my miserable days but most of all I hated missing you.

You stopped calling and then you stopped caring.
You stopped caring and then you forgot.

And as you forgot I became me again.
And you were far.
And I was me.
And it was summer.

And you were far.



5.19.2011

Not much free time


I think I'm ruined. But then again this makes me something new and you always loved new things. So enjoy me.
And don’t stop me when I say that I miss you. Cause I did. And you know I did.

Be the new thing for me too. Someone to cry for and someone to hold.