7.01.2011
6.19.2011
5.30.2011
Grey.
You slept with a smile on your face and woke up with nothing left.
What I am doing here?
Oh damn.
You whisper my name but really it doesn’t feel the same.
Oh damn.
I would love to leave this place but I will miss you like hell.
Oh damn.
And so I stay and wait.
You ask me what I need.
I answer something you can not give me anymore.
You ask why I’m still here.
Here, where?
In this bed.
I always come back here to find what I have left.
Give it back to me please. You know what I'm talking about.
Yes?
5.29.2011
Sober.
It is quite late don’t you think?
You came like a stream, sitting next to me chewing bubble gum. I can still remember the smell of its flavor.
I don’t remember what happened to me, but for a moment I forgot everything.
Baby don’t go away, I’m still here.
You were looking at my eyes and I was screaming enough but you didn’t stop.
Thank God you didn’t.
Another drink and I might forget my pain.
After 23 years I should have know this game.
But I’m losing again.
23 years of practice. Well not really but I still thought I was good at it.
But I’m here again.
Losing again..
5.27.2011
5.26.2011
Your last night.
I throw all your things in the garbage and I pick them up again one by one.
I even thought of getting a cat but I have a fish and that will make us me and you again.
I stopped crying and I started drinking.
I stopped drinking and I started sleeping.
I stopped sleeping and then I woke up for a lifetime.
I hated my miserable days but most of all I hated missing you.
You stopped calling and then you stopped caring.
You stopped caring and then you forgot.
And as you forgot I became me again.
And you were far.
And I was me.
And it was summer.
And you were far.
5.19.2011
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