The moment when you drive alone in the morning and you start crying for no reason. You look around you feeling awkward, stop for a bottle of water and say “good morning” to yourself.
Now you can start your day.
This, every fucking day.
Mornings are becoming the worst thing that ever happened to me.
Do you want to join me?
I don’t want to drive alone again..
I should have broken your heart.
Maybe then you could write me a poem.
Maybe then you could answer once your telephone.
Maybe then you could take me for a walk.
Or just talk to me like you used to.
But I know, I learn from the best.
I should see
and drink to new starts. England
That worked for you, right?
If I am wrong please stop me.
I’m kind of drunk and this for sure wasn’t a good day.
But yes, it was nice to see you again.
It was nice to see that you feel better than me.
It was nice to talk to you.
In my dreams.
NEVER SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE GOODBYE MEANS GOING AWAY AND GOING AWAY MEANS FORGETTING.
I have NEVER been so scared.
Not even when you inform me that you needed some time alone. I wasn’t enough.
Not even when our father told us he doesn’t love us anymore, right before he passed out in the living room.
But then again the day that you will inform me that you love somebody else hasn’t come yet so NEVER say NEVER.
I will just say “until today”.
I thought I saw you on the last bus that night. It was kind of early for a Friday night. After all we are still young. Αnd I was dizzy. You were looking at me. I haven’t thought about you in years, I swear. But after that night I repeat your name 10 times a day.
You continued looking and I thought it was a game, I was giving you that look and I couldn’t believe that this girl was really me. Yeah I’m all grown up as you can see.
Your phone ringed, you answered and shock! This voice had nothing to do with you. Your name didn’t match this awful voice. But as I told you I was dizzy and I still let you see under my dress.
You will never come back so why should I waste my time. Memories will do the job.
Your skin is so soft and I feel guilty for washing my hands after touching you.
But this is who I am.
I’m afraid. You know, I keep seeing these dreams. I die. I always die.
And you won’t be my savior. I know that.
This is why I prefer to smell the soup on my hands than your perfume.
If you do nothing for me, I won’t do something for you.