Ashley

I met Ashley, Ashley, Ashley.. the sun could make you sneeze. Only back then her hair was dyed neon green, matching her Doc boots, a match made in heaven, both of us together, talking and talking, at first timidly and then responding more avidly to the obvious attraction both of us could feel until she gave me her number and i wrote down my number, my first name and my last name, which was how, years later she finally found the right number to call and she kissed me and i kissed her and we kissed for a while more until she invited me home and i said no. I had fallen in love with her, flash of gold and sunlight and Rome, and i wanted to wait, in three days call her, court her, marry her, impregnate her and fill our house with five blonde daughters, until... oh oh no, where have i gone now? horror but not horror but another kind of -orro-? or both, or im not sure..

Of course i lost everything.. I lost her number, i lost her and then in a fugue of erasure, i lost the memory of her, so promise and all that hope. I am too late. I'm lost inside and no longer convinced there's a way out. Bye Bye Ashley and goodbye to the one you knew before i found him and had to let him go..